room on the edge

inspiration (+ a push)

Decide…procrastinate…Create…disintegrate

So, with the help of the Think and Grow Rich course, I’ve now got two goalcards – how did that happen? One I wrote weeks ago on a tiny card I’ve been carrying around with me in a mini copy of the Tao Te Ching, in a subliminal attempt to form two new daily reading habits at once – read my goals and take in a bit of the wisdom of Lao Tzu at the same time. (I haven’t quite succeeded in forming this new habit yet, but it’s early days…).On this card, I’m working in my studio every day, making great artwork, being successful, showing and selling in galleries in New York, London and Madrid, travelling, meeting new people, visiting friends all over the world as a family, having fun, being happy… simple as that.

The other one is a five-point goalcard, a to-do suggested by Paul Martinelli of Life Success Inc. as part of Week 5’s Think And Grow Rich session on Autosuggestion. I’ve since pasted together into a mini-book with a few inspirational images in between all those words that I also carry around as well as the Tao Te Ching and my original goalcard – it’s a lovely little object in its own right and it feels good to pick up and read.

The first page of my little book is focused on the wealth I want personally for my family, the next on my personal and professional development, the next on my relationships with those closest to me, then one on my physical health and wellbeing, and finally one on my spiritual goals, my relationship with the source, the creator. So, from the simple goalcard I started with, this one has expanded the vision of where I see myself, increased the detail in the picture – all positive things.

Except, it’s taken me over two weeks to actually write this 5-point card, and in the meantime I didn’t read my original card, so in effect my 90 day trial can only start from now! Well, it couldn’t be that simple to make this all work, could it?

Also, to complicate things further, this week, I’ve hit Procrastination and Indecision big time – two things that Napoleon Hill warns you about when you read “Think and Grow Rich”, for example: “Life is a chessboard, and the player opposite you is TIME. If you hesitate before moving, or neglect to move thoughtfully and decisively, your pieces will be wiped off the board by TIME. You are playing against a partner who will not tolerate INDECISION!” (p273)

I can’t decide which main goal is more important to focus on – how self-createdly ridiculous! Some of us are such experts at self-sabotage.

In my goalbook, I’ve included working as a Life Success coach as part of my life, helping other people reach their goals and realize their dreams and of course finding it really rewarding. The picture of me making artwork has shifted to the page of my spiritual goals – as my own form of conversation with the divine. Maybe that’s where it alway should have been, free of financial implications.

But then, phrases like “Do what you love and the money will follow” and lots of other positive thinking phrases I’ve been filling my head with lately – you-can-do-anything-if-you-set-your-mind-to-it type things. Statements like these pop into my head and I go round in circles again. I start thinking that I’m copping out on the artist goals, letting myself off the scarey hook of making it work, earning a living from it, finally allowing myself to capitalize or enjoy the long-term rewards of all that time, energy, love, enthusiasm and money I’ve “invested” over many years of study and work in various studios. As David put it “something you’ve been passionate about your whole life all the time I’ve known you” (almost 23 years).

Bob Proctor has a great article about making decisions. “Create or disintegrate” he says. “Indecision causes disintegration… Decision makers are not afraid of making an error. If and when they make an error in their decision, or fail at something, they have the ability to shrug it off. They learn from the exerience, but they will never submit to the failure.” This I need to read every day right now too. I’m scared of committing to pursuing my artist dream and then wishing I’d done the training for Life Success coaching as well – of missing an opportunity. But I’m scared of committing to that coaching training, because it might be a cunning self-diversion so I don’t have to face the ‘failing as an artist’ scenario and also because requires a substantial financial investment at a time when we have less than zero capital available. But as Bob wisely says “Once you make the decision, you will find the money… every time. … All of the money in the world is available to you when the decision is firmly made. If you need money, you will attract it… Be all that you are capable of being” .

So, rather than simplify things, in reaction to these goalcards, I’ve thrown myself into a whirlpool of fear and indecision.

I intend to rectify this promptly and make a simple, albeit life-altering decision, by the end of this weekend. Brave words?

Then I can get on with reading my goalcard every day, putting plans sparked off by it into action and look forward to great results…

 

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