It’s Not Funny, Is It?

Smile and the world smiles with you, but laugh in the wrong place or in the wrong context and the world may just get a little upset.

This week I’ve upset TheO, our four year old son, twice by making this error ‘it’s not funny mama!’ he said as I laughed when he did something cute, and off he went, all upset and cross, thinking that I was laughing at him, rather than what I thought I was doing, which was laughing with the pure pleasure of watching a child do things their own way. Laughter of Delight, I’d call it.

But TheO didn’t interpret it that way and didn’t like being the subject of my laughter at all. He laughs a lot himself – he’s a real giggler, so it’s not that his character is serious or melancholy, but right now he’s so sensitive to being laughed at that I’m on tenderhooks when I’m around him and so I’m choosing to reassess the way and the context in which I laugh.

Hmmm – laughter in my book just happens – and a lot, all day, every day– it’s not something that I’ve ever analysed or questioned before. I’ve always assumed that the world is a much happier and brighter place with more laughter in it and I always thought that it was my role, as a born optimist, to contribute as much as possible with all the smiles and laughs I could – in the appropriate places if course. But what if I’m wrong?

How do you laugh? How often? What at? Who at? Under what circumstances and in which contexts? When, if at all, do check yourself or stop yourself from laughing? How do people react when you laugh? When is it not appropriate to smile? I’ve heard lots of people being told to ‘cheer up’, but it’s not often that someone gets told to ‘laugh down’, is it?

Mulling over these ideas all day, this afternoon, as I was getting into my car, a man going into a nearby house made a comment about my car and laughed. I laughed too and then we laughed together – well, it is a Rover! We said goodbye and I drove off smiling.

It struck me quite plainly though that not everyone would react the way I did to a complete stranger making a joke with them on the street. You could take offence, feel uncomfortable or uneasy, or you might be confused or embarrassed or you might think someone was making fun of you and get cross and off you go in an unnecessary way, worse off for the encounter. Your loss.

The reward for me was, however trivial, exchanging a spark of mutual connection with another human being. For me, that’s one of the most precious gifts we have.

So, whatever the reasons behind TheO’s present reaction -  one day, hopefully quite soon, I hope he’ll turn it around, maybe on his own, maybe with my help, definitely with compassion and understanding while he gets there,  so he’ll be able to deal with any laughter that comes his way.

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