People often start out in life glowing with hope and possibility.
Some people achieve some success, do well, get good jobs, tick a lot of their own boxes and everyone else says so too, so they must be ok, mustn’t they?
But often, at some point, either sooner or later, they decide that they are on a certain track and that their only option is to stay on it, see it through, persevere, do the ‘right’ thing (though instinctively, they know it’s not right for them).
As they go through life they carve the groove deeper and deeper, the history groove behind them and the expectation groove ahead of them. Each experience, each layer of the groove serves as ‘proof’ of their erroneous conclusion that their life is limited – why they can’t be this or that, why they’ll never ‘be’ anyone, why they ‘have to’ follow this path. They get so deep in these past=future, proof-expectation grooves they get stuck and it often takes a crisis or a dramatic event to derail them – a health scare, or a divorce or the death of someone close.
Indeed, most people seem to expect and accept life to get worse as we move through our lives – loss of freedom and adventure when we knuckle down to a ‘serious’ career, loss of income and time to ourselves when we start a family, loss of drive and ambition when we reach ‘middle’ age, loss of health and status when we reach ‘old’ age. People look back nostalgically at photos of themselves when they were younger, happier, when life seemed simpler and more straightforward.
When we stop experiencing the excitement and adventure of new directions and new challenges, we accept and expect that life will continue on at its current rate; perhaps a little duller than we’d hoped, more ordinary than we’d imagined, more predictable, like it’s all mapped out ahead.
The tragedy (yep, strong word, but I mean it) is when people seem to give up and accept that their lives can only be this way. Perceived limitations govern all their choices and decisions in life. They limit themselves. A life of compromise. Glass ceilings. Glass boxes. All that wonderful potential, possibility and hope gradually dying off. Create or disintegrate.
We often don’t realise that even ‘a lifetime’ of being overweight or ‘years of practice’ at being broke can be changed. Life can be transformed, not always overnight, but it can still be transformed and turned around.
This is not just positive thinking or wishing it was so either. Scientific research shows that our brains are highly adaptable and can forge new neurological pathways and connections almost instantly. (Read ‘How the Mind Works’ or ‘Proust and the Squid’ – they’re fascinating.) We can literally rewire our minds.
If we only had the courage, the confidence, the spirit, the not ‘follow the herd’, the mindset, we would all be grooving out a new experience of the present moment and new possibilities for a future worth getting really excited about.
Challenge your thinking then – What if your life just got better and better as you got older (and wiser)?
What if you made every decision you make today knowing that:
- your life really can be what you make it
- you can cope with whatever ups and downs life brings
- you can get bolder and experience more freedom as you gain more experience in life
- you can recognise your own inner strengths and have more confidence
- you can find a way of eating and keeping healthy that really suits you, so you don’t have to try
- you can love your work and feel rewarded and fulfilled
- you can at last get over the ‘money thing’ and experience true abundance and financial freedom
- you can develop more meaningful and more loving relationships with others in your life
- you can make a significant difference and contribution in the world
- you can change the habits of a lifetime (up to now) and literally transform the life you’re leading
Now re-read that list again and change the ‘can’s to ‘will’s.
Which groove are you in now?
Please feel free to add your own comments, stories or experiences below
To find out more about Stephen Holland’s Hidden Talents, visit his site CLICK HERE.
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